It shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it did.
We haven't seen eachother since before Christmas. We broke up last summer. We don't talk on the phone. We are not friends on Facebook.
I shouldn't miss her, as a friend, but I will.
I will miss little things. Texts asking how I am doing. Someone to text when I am down, or angry. Knowing that someone out there cares. Little things are important, sometimes.
I should be over missing her as a girlfriend and, in many ways, I am. I am still notalgic though, for the good times we had. We both know that the bad ones outweighed them. Still, we had something special and I choose to remember that first.
I choose to remember the first date. I choose to remember the first kiss. I choose to remember the Sea-life Centre. I hope she remembers that too.
The bad stuff is personal and, I think, it can stay that way. Let's both forget it.
I'll refer to the soundtrack of my life here - the Beautiful South back catalogue - and i'll say that, if you want to know how I feel, listen to I'll Sail This Ship Alone. If ever any song summed up any man's feelings at any time, this is it for me, now.
You might listen to it and think it is hopelessly depressive. It's not. The song is about love and loss, yes. But it is also about dealing with it, and moving on. Love and loss is easier because, normally, there is no element of choice. It's the moving on that's hard.
Don't worry though. I will.
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